Monday, 26 March 2012

loved my many strangers or simply and wholeheartedly appreciated by friends.

I just found out I’m an excellent eBayer. cool.

In the same week I also got a personal message from an old friend who used to be real close (sounds like a song lyric...)

What’s interesting about all this is I’m sharing my recent eBay fame with people and keeping my social connection close at heart. It’s interesting that the anonymous, yet collective affection of strangers has more power over me at present than the sincere messages from someone in theory who should be closer.

We’re now in the social age – it’s been round a while. By nature of you reading this is evidence that such is the case and had it not been for the immediate satisfaction of blog posting, I doubt whether I’d be arsed to write a regular column for the printed press. And it’s here I think the reason between by fair-weather friendship and the fame and adoration from eBay lies.

I’ve become a bit needy. eBay feedback gives me the immediate lift I need when I glance upon my stats but my friends don’t. eBay gives me a coloured star and a smiley face. My friends don’t. eBay will track my performance against others. My friends don’t. eBay sends me text and emails from time to time without my asking so I know exactly how I’m doing. My friends don’t.

Or do they?

Perhaps all this efeedback is packaged up in soft language, warmth and affection, laughter, beer, banter and all that I associate with a good friendship. Perhaps I do get my ratings and my scorecard in the conversations I have with my nearest and dearest. I’m always left wanting more. The closest to me keep going back to the WHAT I DID that was great (which really helps)

And then I think of the swaying masses of those in employment – those who suffer at the hands of appraisals, PDR’s, reviews, accreditations and annual HR appointments. What quality is the feedback there? Probably packed up in neat little envelopes with ‘anonymous’ but useful 360 feedback commentary from your peers.

I remember working in a department so small we’d drop in key words into our appraisals so even though they were anonymous, we’d guess each other’s comments from the language used and then work out who won the review quiz in the pub at the end of the week; a far more rewarding experience!

So my sharing this week is about the feedback we crave and how we get what we want from the unlikliest of sources and how we appear to crave what we need from those who don't give it.

We all want the same thing at heart – feedback to help us grow. But the way in which it’s packaged up is in contrast. For a job and maybe our friendships , surely we’d want the most up to date, peer to peer, statistical comparisons...all accessed in easy form with the odd text and refresher. From anonymous people we’ve taken money from – who cares? Yet it’s exactly the other way round...

Odd that don’t you think?

But even odder if I got a 3 out of 5 and a yellow sticker from my best mate...

what is it better to be? loved my many strangers or simply and wholeheartedly appreciated by friends.

have a good week.


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